The other day, I stopped in a Subway sandwich shop to buy dinner. I rarely go to Subway, but was following a whim and trying to eat healthfully. Apparently, a man had been hanging around outside the shop that day, asking people to buy him a sandwich. He was tall and extremely thin, so much so that it seemed obvious he was in need of a meal. I noticed the man when I walked up to the store, but did not know he had been requesting sandwiches, as he did not ask me for one or approach anyone while I was nearby.
While I was at the counter ordering, the man came in with a 20-something guy who waited near the register for the man to order a meal. The man wasn't bothering anyone, just standing in line to place his order. But the girls behind the counter apparently believed I was buying a meal for him and started to warn me. Then the manager walked up to the man and, in front of everyone else in the store, loudly warned him not to demand sandwiches from his customers. The man tried to explain that the guy near the register was buying him a sandwich, but the manager was intent on berating him.
I was so upset with how the manager had publicly embarrassed the man that I explained I did not wish to patronize the place if that is how people are treated there and walked out. Having had the chance now to think about this more, I really wish I had done something more significant to help the man, who as I drive away was tucking into his meal outside. In retrospect, I should have purchased a gift card to another restaurant that he could have used whenever he liked without being publicly humiliated.
20 May 2009
Short Sightedness and Hind Sightedness
Posted by Lisa at 7:19 AM
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4 comments:
You DID do something significant. You recognized that man's humanity by refusing to spend your money in a place that was dehumanizing him. Progress towards a better world is not only about the big, swooping gestures. It is also about the small, seemingly insignificant actions we take everyday to recognize the people around us.
Does this man routinely hang outside of that particular Subway? You could still purchase a restaurant gift card and present it to him.
Ditto Jenn. Big ditto.
You're effing AWESOME to have done what you did, with a brand of courageous, principled action that I wish that many others (including myself) could do more often. From your language, it seems like you did it in a way that also showed compassion to the manager. You didn't call him an asshole or whatever, but you stated your -principles- and walked out. That's something he can learn from, and not just be pained by.
Regarding your wish to do have done more -- that's the kind of character that makes you so loved by friends. Friends who will also tell you, "Hey, Lisa -- no sweat... you did plenty and certainly didn't come up short!"
We didn't ask Abraham Lincoln to cook dinner for his troops, nor did we expect Dorothea Lange to give money to each of her subjects. Lincoln and Lange did plenty, stepping forward as they did.
Thanks, guys, for the support. I think I'm going to have a stash of restaurant or grocery gift cards at the ready for such occasions.
Great idea re: gift card stash! I might follow suit.
I had this happen to me once on my lunch hour downtown. It was at the juice bar of the local Equinox club (not sure if they have those in Dallas but they are rich-people gyms.). Mentally inept, homeless man walks in and asks me for something nominal (can't remember but it was something like a quarter for his 2 dimes or something like that) and she reams him in front of all of us! And he was asking ME for $, not her! I felt the same way you did, Lise. Before I could say anything, though, it turned into a scene. Guy started screaming at her, she threatened to call the cops, all the while I'm standing there thinking, I would have given him a quarter and he'd probably be gone by now.
I bought some lunch for me & for him. He was visibly agitated, an old guy. He looked stunned when I handed him some $ and lunch. He kept saying, "Thank you, ma'am." Since he almost got his ass arrested, I looked him in the eye and said, "You can't go around acting like that when things like this happen. You've gotta play it cool."
He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, I know." It was the most sincere apology I'd ever received during all the years I spent in the corporate trenches, where everything was about posturing and sidestepping and hinting but never really admitting remorse over anything, fully.
I told him it was okay. He'd been beat up on enough, I just hoped he might remember our conversation & walk away next time. (Doubtful.) Anyhow...I think we're the lucky ones, that we got to see the flip side of those situations. If you pray for him, I know someone hears...
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