A different way of looking at things.

One source of angst in my career has been the jerk behavior frequently displayed by opposing counsel. I have been thinking recently about why this bothers me so much, as my encounters with opposing counsel are typically fairly limited--a phone conversation, exchanges of letters, at most a day spent in a deposition together. I enjoy winning, but hate the fights that proceed it.

After many years of feeling bad or angry during the sporadic times when I am forced to deal with rude and/or unethical opposing counsel, I experienced an ephiphany this morning. I realized that what bothers me most about opposing counsel's bad behavior is that I internalize it . . . believing that behavior would not occur if I didn't deserve it or do something to bring it on myself. This defeating thought process of mine certainly isn't limited to the work context, but it is particularly damaging there.

I am currently dealing with a situation that challenges my adopted belief system. Specifically, I now realize a particular opposing counsel is actually trying to divert attention from their own bad conduct (details omitted) by treating me like the problem. It occurred to me this morning while I was agonizing over this situation that the conduct of which they falsely accuse me (misrepresenting conversations) is actually something they have done themselves on multiple occasions. They accuse me of delaying in the case, when in fact they have delayed and then scrambled to get out of the consequences. They have accused me of not agreeing to things, but have not agreed to reasonable requests of mine that any other lawyer would have accommodated. In short, this counsel would rather falsely accuse me of bad acts than admit to these bad acts of their own. Until now, I have been letting them get away with it by responding to their attacks instead of going on the offensive and calling it for what it is--a diversionary attempt at projection.

This realization is so freeing! Instead of beating myself up, I can actually respond to these jerks from a place that isn't personal. As distasteful as the thought may be, I think The Evil Karl Rove actually knows what he's doing when he points the finger right back at those pointing it at him. I shall do the same--calling their B.S. out for what it is, which is an attempt to make me the bad guy when they are in fact the bad guys. Figuring this out makes my day feel more manageable already.