Sometimes a really great writer is able to take something about which I have had only a vague feeling and describe that feeling in words so right that they actually take shape and settle into the crevice where the feeling once resided. Susan at Skull Stew did that for me, with the following words, which I would have missed if not for The Archer Pelican:
One day I will find that mysterious element that will make me complete, fill that gaping hole that I try to fill with food and books and the internet. Maybe that missing element will be the satisfaction of finishing a novel. Maybe it will be the forgiveness of those I have wronged. Maybe it will be my forgiving those who wronged me. Maybe I will realize that in letting go of the things I cling to, that I think are necessary for my survival, I will be able to soar high because the weight of that baggage is not holding me down. And on that day I will finally see myself as beautiful, imperfect, kind, cruel, right, wrong, controlling, and passive.
The difference is that I will see those elements of myself as parts, not the whole. And I will love the whole they create, instead of lamenting the hole that used to be there.
As for now, I'm still lamenting the hole.
But the whole is there somewhere. I just know it.
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