Best anti-umpire rant ever

Courtesy of Batgirl (who else?):

But you know what I do mind, Mr. Umpire Man? When a kid's—no, no the Kid—has got a no hitter in the sixth—yes, a no freakin' hitter, not a one-hitter or a two hitter, but a no hitter which means he has not allowed a hit—and there's a close call at first you better be damned sure you get it right. And you know what, you blue bellied boobie? You blew it. Carbrea was out by half a step and you cost the Kid his bleepin' blargin' no hitter because you have a depth perception problem and you've been too embarrassed to tell anyone because you're an ump and you can't be an ump with a depth perception problem (clearly) and then they'd fire you and you have no other skills, except for macramé, but that doesn't pay very well and besides every time you express yourself in macramé your brother Stan beats you up and it hurts and maybe that's what's responsible for your depth perception problem in the first place because when Stan found you hiding in the closet making a macramé owl he hit you in the brain and you've never been the same since except for the one thing that you are and always have been a total freakin' moron and a stupid-ass crap weasel and I hate you.