I do not feel good about myself tonight. I feel as if I do not know myself anymore.
Overly critical.
Gossipy.
Short-tempered.
Selfish.
Irrational.
Fat.
Unlovable.
And that's just for starters . . .
09 May 2007
Is there a limit to the amount of self-loathing one can have?
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6 comments:
Looks like you need one of those "Lisa Saturdays" you have written about in the past. I think that is what you called them.
Aren't you off to New York soon?
Hope you feel better.
Goodness! Since you're already in a musing mood, here's a meme to invite some new and perhaps positive (or at least non-negative) thoughts from your self.
The Archer Pelican's five questions for Lisa.
1. I've often wondered about your blog title, "A Clear View to a New Life" and your Blogger subdomain, "eyebrow-raisingfolk". Care to comment a little on their origins? If you've written about these elsewhere in your blogs, feel free to just point us to the permalinks.
2. Speaking of your blogs, plural: how do you feel about having three personal blogs instead of one? If you could start over from scratch, would you have organized your digital world any differently? (In my own world, the excess of options drives me a little nuts.)
3. Not long ago (30 April, to be exact), you wrote about a wish to change, and the double role of fear. If you had one wish that you could use to either dispel that particular fear and issue, or gain a modest strength that you've often wished for -- which would you pick?
4(a). For part (a) of this question, you will need to put aside both stubbornness and modesty for at least two minutes. M'kay? What are ten things that your friends enjoy (like, appreciate, etc.) and/or respect (admire, envy, wish for themselves, etc.) about you? TEN. And they don't need to be unique, either -- they can be great things that lots of people have, not just you.
4(b). For part (b) of this question, you may respond publicly, privately by email to me, or just in your own head. Of the ten items above, which ones are you most delighted about (either openly or secretly), whether or not such feelings of delight might be considered a vice.
5. Your Blogger profile's list of favorite books would indicate that you can't be pinned down to an easily labeled ideology (i.e., dyed-in-the-wool Ayn Rand Objectivists are not, in my estimate, heavy consumers of U2 and Indigo Girls politics). Any thoughts on that? Feel free to answer this question in the context of an alternate and perhaps better question: whose baseball writing do you like better, George Will's or Frank DeFord's? No need to comment yet on Deford's new book, The Entitled. But feel free if you've already read it.
So there. Five questions. Just for you. Enjoy!
Oops. I forgot a question mark at the end of 4(b).
Here you go:
"?"
:-)
Thanks, J.D. . . . I do leave for New York Saturday morning, and the timing of that now looks pretty good.
Phil, thank you for the really thoughtful and challenging questions! I have begun drafting my answers, but it may be a day or two before I have them ready to post.
Lisa, we all go through periods where we get really down on ourselves. But, I'm the only one who is allowed to sit around and wallow in self-pity so you'll have to stop this.
Have a great weekend in New York. Do all the fun stuff you love to do there and don't let any "real world" crap interfere.
Yep.
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