I'm not sure what to make of this article.

But it is darn funny.

First, an explanation of how I ran across it is in order. You may have heard reports that UT student/NFL hopeful Vince Young recently scored a paltry 6 and/or 16 on the Wunderlich intelligence exam. The morning hosts on my local sports radio station were talking about the Wunderlich scores of various current NFL players, mentioning that Drew Henson, the third-string quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, had the highest score among quarterbacks.

Curious about Henson's academic background, I Googled him and found that he attended the University of Michigan, as well as this article in "The Michigan Every Three Weekly." In it, a UM dropout/druggie compares his early departure to Henson's (Henson apparently left early for the baseball draft--he later switched from professional baseball to football).



A few highlights from the interview of dropout Ostrowski, pictured above (right) with Henson (left):

"The way I see it, Drew just got tired of all that straight shit, man-like grades and essays and showers and clean clothes and toilet paper-and he was just like, 'Hey man, screw this, I'm just gonna move to Jamaica as soon as my cheapass parents send my next allowance check."

When informed that Henson was not going to Jamaica, but to the Yankees spring training camp in Lakeland, Florida, Ostrowski, clearly disoriented, replied "No thanks, man, I already own a vacuum cleaner."

. . . . .

After removing a handful of half-crushed Funions from a hidden fold in his couch, Ostrowski continued his meditation on Henson's various motivations for leaving university life.

. . . . .

"I figure Drew was on this crazy acid trip and he was like, 'Whoa, I'm like hungrier than this classroom, and it's swallowing everyone except I'm flying on a strawberry blimp, killing Nazi pirate cheerleaders with my power of free thought,' and then he woke up on the roof of Alice Loyd without any pants, but six layers of shirts one on top of the other, and then he was like, 'Man, screw this-I'm going to Jamaica."