I bring to you, via McSweeney's, "Opening Day Genesis" by Glenn Birkemeier. The following is an excerpt:
And God divided the players into two teams of nine players each, under direction of a manager, to play The Game on His field. God called some of these players Pitchers and some of them Hitters. He placed a Pitcher precisely 60 feet 6 inches from a Hitter. Then God commanded that it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the ol' Ballgame.
And God granted jurisdiction of The Game to lesser Gods, whom He called Umpires. God said the Umpires are infallible, blessed with Heavenly authority, whose judgment is not to be questioned under penalty of expulsion from The Game. And God looked at his creation and He was pleased. Then God created the Infield Fly Rule to confuse nonbelievers.
Play ball!
2 comments:
Happy pretty photo!
Such perfect clouds on a beautiful day.
In my home town we have the AAA Durham Bulls (who were single-A when they made the movie back in ~'87). Opening day is usually cold. We don't have left-field seating like you have in your pic, but we do have enough at center field.
Back in single-A days at the old park on the other side of downtown, there was a rentable picnic area beyond center field. One day, the regular announcer modified his usual warning thusly: "'tention, 'tention! Foul balls make great souvenirs, but they can also hurt. But if you do happen to get hit by one today. In the head. And if you happen to be a kid...head on over to the center field picnic area where tonight we are proud to host the Duke Children's Neurology Clinic."
That quote is hilarious, Phil! Just like a minor league park announcer. When I come to visit NC, I want you to take me to a Durham Bulls game! :)
Post a Comment