Help, the U.S. government has fallen into a rabbit hole and it can't get up . . . .

You may ask yourself, what on earth would lead a governmental agency to have to make this pledge about its press conferences:

Paulison pledged yesterday that FEMA will give at least one hour's notice of news conferences, will not prevent reporters listening in on a telephone conference line from asking questions and will allow only reporters to do the questioning.

Well, this is the kind of pledge an agency must make after it:

• announces a news conference about 15 minutes before it is to begin, making it unlikely that reporters could attend;

• sets up a telephone conference line so reporters can listen, but prohibits the reporters from being able to ask questions during the conference;

• in a conference televised live by cable news channels, the agency spokesman stands behind a lectern and calls on questioners without disclosing that he is calling on his agency's own employees;

• the spokesman gives replies reading more like a publicity piece, in which he emphasizes that his agency's response to this week's California wildfires was far better than its response to Hurricane Katrina in August 2005.

No, you are not imagining it: this is America, George W. Bush-style. I'll bet this episode made Karl Rove really sad he isn't a part of the administration anymore.