Benazir Bhutto

is assassinated, giving rise to extreme uncertainty about the future of Pakistan. And yet again, President Bush is caught with his pants down, on vacation in Crawford and "scrambling" to react to the implications for the U.S. regarding Bhutto's death:

U.S. officials _ who had labored to promote stability in the nuclear-armed country that has been an anti-terrorism ally _ huddled to assess the impact of Bhutto's death two weeks before legislative elections in the turbulent nation in which her party was expected to do well.

Here is her New York Times obituary.

And the Washington Post has now written that the U.S. brokered Bhutto's return to Pakistan in an effort to keep their chosen rights violator in power. How telling that our Administration would place Bhutto in such a dangerous position and then fail to protect her. Sound familiar?

Christmas Tidbits

Gosh, I have accomplished a lot this weekend. The completed items from my to-do list:

• buy adult and children's drinks for Christmas Eve
• buy presents for friend's mother and stepfather
• buy 14x25x1 filters for upstairs AC/heat unit
• buy Christmas present for dogs
• find Christmas present bought long ago for Dan
  
• return unused tree lights to Target
• buy skirt for Christmas tree (I own about three of these, but can find none of them)
  
• complete work project for taking to New Hampshire
• tidy up house
  
• locate gloves to take to New Hampshire
• prepare photographs for live sale and submit more photos for review at PhotoShelter
• see "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead"
  
• get pedicure

And the items remaining, some to be completed today and some to be completed before or shortly after the holidays are over:

• more billable work
• retrieve gifts from my office (DONE)
  
• print boarding pass for tomorrow's flight (DONE)
  
• wrap gifts (DONE)
  
• wash clothes/pack for New Hampshire trip (DONE)
  
• select reading material for New Hampshire trip (DONE)
  
• facial
• car repair
  
• see "No Country for Old Men," "Charlie Wilson's War" (DONE), "The Savages," "Juno" and "The Kite Runner"
  

The picture-guessing contest will remain open until Christmas morning, when I shall reveal the answers before flying off to New Hampshire.

I find myself longing for Paris, where I spent four days, including Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, two years ago. Paris seems the right place to be for Christmas. Maybe next year . . .

Happy Holidays, Dear Readers!

As a special Christmas prize, the first person to identify each of these photos (by name, location or event) may ask me to answer any question they like.*

*Subject to my ultimate approval of the question asked, which shall not be unreasonably withheld.

******

Clockwise, from top left:

Seattle
Central Park, NYC
Orley
Monk seal, Kauai, Hawaii
Shelburne Farms, Vermont
Nepali Coast, Kauai, Hawaii
Sammy Sosa's 600th home run, the Ballpark in Arlington (home of the Texas Rangers)
Kip
Sunset in Kauai, Hawaii

I believe Kell came the closest to accurately guessing all pics. Thanks for playing, and Merry Christmas!

I was in Austin the other day . . .

. . . and the Texas Capital looked really pretty, all dressed up for Christmas:

Annoyed by all the focus on the destroyed CIA torture tapes,

Dick Cheney says, "I'll show you document destruction!" and sets the building on fire. It's the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, known as the "OEOB" to devoted West Wing watchers.

Unbelievable!

I wanted a Christmas tree and said yesterday morning that I might get one. As it turns out, this isn't an easy task less than 10 days before Christmas.

The easiest part was buying the tree. At the nursery just around the corner from my house, I found a lovely 7-8 footer for half price at only $37.50. The place was nice enough to deliver the tree to my house so I didn't have to sully my beloved car (though I do adore driving a Christmas tree home in December in a convertible with the top down).

I was sure I had a Christmas tree stand at home, but could not find it. Locating a stand in the retail world was no easy feat, requiring trips to two different Target stores and, ultimately, a Home Depot store where I purchased a used display model for one dollar.

Finding white lights also carried a high difficulty rating. There were multi-colored lights, blue lights and button lights in pearl or satin finishes, but no plain white mini-lights. At long last, I was able to find what was literally the last set of white mini-lights in two large Target stores near my house.

Wrestling the thick-trunked tree into the stand proved to be a challenge with no other human around to hold the trunk upright. But I'm proud to say that I ultimately prevailed in this battle, though the star tree-topper is a little "scrunched" against the ceiling.

My favorite part of holiday decorating is pulling out all of my Christmas ornaments and other thingamabobs. Each one has a memory attached and I revel in remembering.

This morning, I pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the closet to try to pick up all the fallen needles. And there I found my tree stand.



Now if only the vacuum would work and I could find the Christmas tree skirt . . .

Making Plans

This year moved very slowly at first, but now feels as if it has accelerated. Yesterday was the 9th anniversary of the phone call from my brother in which I learned my father had died. It is unfathomable to me that 9 years have passed since that day. I tried to stay busy yesterday by working at my office all afternoon and deep into the night, but often found myself reflecting on what this means. I believe it means I have to move forward. I loved my Dad dearly and miss him very much, but I know he would want me to hold on less tightly and live this life for all it is worth, as he worked so hard for us to have a good life. This realization and vow feel bittersweet, but I cannot think of a better way to honor him than by a life well-lived. And so I emerge from this self-imposed hibernation, shaking off the branches and snow and looking with wonder around me at all that has changed while I was asleep . . .

Luckily, I'm not too far behind with holiday preparations despite the swift passage of time . . . most of my Christmas shopping is done. About half of the holiday cards I send to clients and work contacts are finished. I have ordered my personal holiday cards and am awaiting their arrival so I can sign and send them. Today I should finish my personal card mailing list and a little newsletter for inclusion with the cards. I have not yet put up a Christmas tree at my house, though I am longing to have one . . . maybe I'll remedy that today.

Lots of time has been spent making plans, which thus far include:

(1) spending several days after Christmas in New Hampshire working on the Barack Obama campaign;

(2) catching the Bruce Springsteen concert in Houston (and maybe Dallas, too, if we're lucky) in April with my dear friends J and B (with whom I had such a wonderful time in Hawaii); and

(3) dreaming of a return to New Orleans for a seminar in May, where I plan to take my camera and hopefully meet up with some civil rights friends I haven't seen in a while.

The planning process for this New Hampshire trip was much more difficult than I would have thought. My goal was simple: to go where they most needed the help. But the campaign was so accommodating, saying, "just tell us where you want to be and you can work at the nearest regional office." There are so many offices to choose from that I was a bit overwhelmed in thinking about which one to make my home base. While I initially thought about staying in Manchester because the operation there is the biggest and there would be the most nighttime activity there, I decided to work out of Littleton and stay, amazingly inexpensively, at the cozy inn I discovered during my last trip (see photo below). This location also has the upside of being near the Vermont border, so I may be able to duck into the state I grew to love so much during my visit earlier this year. The campaign promises me there will be plenty of work to do, and I hope they are right.

I tried to save a bit of money by using frequent flier miles for the plane ticket, which resulted in me flying in on Christmas and flying out on New Year's Eve--having no plans of any kind makes making such plans really easy. I'm really excited to do this work, and Barack's endorsement today by the Boston Globe will add an extra dash of inspiration. There will definitely be a white Christmas!

Thursday Tidbits

This New York Times analysis of last night's Republican Party debate in Iowa is really cool. It's a graphic that lets you see the number of words spoken and the speaking time for various candidates. You can also hone in on particular portions of the transcript. There is also an interactive video that jumps to the part in which the words that interest you are spoken.

*******

Things are heating up on the baseball stove. I felt like a little girl on Christmas morning when I awoke yesterday to find the Chicago Cubs have landed one of the most coveted free agents, Japanese outfielder Kosuke Fukudome. Still waiting for: (1) Ron Santo, beloved Cubs radio broadcaster, to mispronounce his name in a manner that draws a huge fine from the FCC; and (2) the big Major League Baseball "drug report" from independent investigator/Red Sox Director George Mitchell, who has spent the last year and a half saying "pretty please" while trying to get people to rat out the drug users in baseball. They say there will be lots of big names in it . . . I hope none are (currently) Cubs.

*******

Did you know you are supposed to regularly switch out the filters on your A/C and heat vents in your house? (Asked the very stuffed up girl.)

I made the mistake of succumbing to sleep

around 6:00 p.m. . . . and now I'm wide awake at 1:00 a.m. So I shall do this meme:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Visited Hawaii, Vermont and New Hampshire

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more
for next year?
I don't remember what they were; if losing weight, no. Next year? Yes!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not that I know of.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My friends Karen and Dan lost their dogs Spike and Hank, whom I have known and loved for years, within days of each other a few weeks ago.

5. What countries did you visit?
Very briefly, Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Peace with myself, healthy eating and exercise.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1.24.07--making shareholder at my firm.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
That, plus being named G.C. at my favorite civil rights organization.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not doing a better job of navigating the ups and downs of various personal relationships.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing out of the ordinary.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The ring with the light blue stone, in Hawaii, and the photograph of Fred Tuttle in Vermont.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My two dogs seemed to have negotiated a peace treaty, which makes me very happy.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine and my brother's. Also, that of a few colleagues.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Political and charitable contributions, travel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Chicago Cubs' playoff chances and my trips.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
"Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? same
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying and second-guessing.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'm hoping to volunteer for the Barack Obama campaign in New Hampshire.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No.

22. How many one-night stands?
Um, well, how do you define that?

23. What was your favorite TV program?
None--I don't watch TV.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

25. What was the best book you read?
"On the Road" by Jack Kerouac.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Luciano Pavrotti's Nessun Dorma (so I was late to that party), Anna Netrebko.

27. What did you want and get?
A treadmill and a convertible that doesn't malfunction multiple times per year.

28. What did you want and not get?
A paying position with the ACLU.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Paris Je T'Aime.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38, drove from southern New Hampshire to eastern Vermont, checked into a lovely inn and ate dinner by the fire while chatting with interesting innkeepers.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had done a better job of controlling my temper.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Wearing colors every now and then, instead of only black, gray or brown.

33. What kept you sane?
My hunger for civil rights work and knowledge that the Shrub will leave the White House in 2009.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jon Stewart.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Adherence (or not) to the Geneva Conventions, the right of habeas corpus.

36. Who did you miss?
My Dad and my grandmother.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
A fellow member of the board of my favorite civil rights organization.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007
Pay your traffic tickets on time.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Dream a little dream of me . . .

Did I mention who I'm supporting in the Democratic Party primary?

Here's a hint:



But Hillary Clinton says I may want to think twice about this, because Obama's "character" is in question due to his writing in kindergarten that he wanted to be President, while he currently denies years of preparation for the position (according to this Chicago Tribune story). Hilariously, the Tribune titled its link to that story: "the clinton pot calls the obama . . . "

Why, you ask, is the terrible truth about Obama just now being revealed? Perhaps this story provides a clue:

[In Iowa,] Obama had the support of 28 percent of respondents, up six points from the last Register poll, in early October. Former senator John Edwards (N.C.) drew 23 percent. Clinton was in the middle at 25 percent, down four points from early October. The margin of error is 4.4 percentage points.

If you are wondering what helped me make up my mind about the Democratic candidate of choice, it was many things, with this being the last straw:

[College student Muriel] Gallo-Chasanoff, whose story was first reported in the campus newspaper, said what happened was simple: She said a senior Clinton staffer asked if she'd like to ask the senator a question after an energy speech the Democratic presidential hopeful gave in Newton, Iowa, on November 6.

"I sort of thought about it, and I said 'Yeah, can I ask how her energy plan compares to the other candidates' energy plans?'" Gallo-Chasanoff said Monday night.

According to Gallo-Chasanoff, the staffer said, " 'I don't think that's a good idea, because I don't know how familiar she is with their plans.' "

This reminded me just a bit too much of the administration of someone else we know. Ms. Gallo-Chasanoff could not have said it better:

While she acknowledged "it's possible that all campaigns do these kind of tactics," she said that doesn't make it right.

"Personally I want to know that I have someone who's honest representing me."

P.S. Although her cute picture is slipping down the page, please do consider giving to May's Team if you have a few spare pennies. The marathon is next Sunday. Thank you! :)

This makes me laugh

in a good way.

And so does this . . . Rudy has produced great spin on his using taxpayer money, funneled through other New York City department accounts, to pay for security while he cheated with his mistress:





Via Talking Points Memo.

This makes me sad

and scared.

Remember May?

May is the daughter of two of my dear friends here in Dallas. She is funny and smart and cute and altogether delightful. You would never know she suffers from Tuberous Sclerosis (TS), which causes benign tumors to form in organs throughout the body. The last time I asked you to support May's parents in raising money to fight TS through our local marathon, I was delighted when they asked me questions like, "Is David in Utah one of your friends?," after so many of you so generously offered your support.



So far, May’s TS has manifested itself as a couple of tumors in her brain. Her health has been good this year: her medicine seems to work pretty well. However, every three months or so, May “outgrows” her dosage, experiencing a handful of seizures that lead her doctor to up her prescription. Her parents hope this current dosage can keep her seizure free for a while, but only time will tell. You can learn more about TS in this wonderful article about all that actress Julianne Moore is doing for the cause.

As I mentioned before, Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas is a huge help to May and her parents. The research they do there as well as the information that they provide has been terrific for their family. Scottish Rite has even hooked their family up with other families dealing with the disease, sending them to camp together annually to ensure they remember the support they can offer each other. Most importantly, the help Scottish Rite offers is entirely free, as the hospital is entirely funded from charitable donations.

A week from Sunday, May's Team will again run in the Dallas White Rock Marathon in an effort to raise money for Scottish Rite. If you have a bit of spare cash, I cannot think of a more worthy cause than this wonderful hospital that makes life so much better for so many people, including my dear little friend May and her parents. You can pledge support for the runners here--as you can see, they have a little way left to reach their goal. Think you can help? :)

Thank you for your consideration!

Thanksgiving Update

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving Day. Our meal was wonderful and unexpectedly quiet as a result of last-minute cancellations by my brother and cousins. The bright side of this was that I was able to enjoy the longest uninterrupted conversation I have ever had with my uncle, a great guy whom I do not see often enough. Having arrived a bit early, I was even able to enjoy a private visit with my aunt and uncle while I constructed a salad. (No, the world has not ended, as I did not actually "cook" anything . . . I merely assembled pieces of a salad). By the time my Mom and I returned home, it was after 5 pm and I was exhausted, having only slept for a few hours before catching my early morning flight to Chicago.

On another note, there is something strange about waking up in one's childhood bedroom. There was a period of time between high school graduation and my father's death in which I did not sleep in this room, because I always stayed with my Dad when back in Illinois. But now, by default, I stay at my mother's house, which is also the only house I ever lived in as a child. The room has now been painted, the Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stephenson posters are gone and there is a new and much more comfortable mattress on the narrow twin bed. But still, I cannot shake the feeling of being watched here by ghosts of my childhood. Being here returns me to the silence of my childhood, where feelings were never discussed, except for jotting them down in my diary.

Thoughts for another day, as I go off to take my grandmother's boyfriend to breakfast . . .

Pre-Thanksgiving Tidbits

Here is the fastest trip from Fort Worth to Dallas that you've ever seen, as viewed from the police car chasing a totally insane guy who would not stop:



Via Unfair Park.

**********************

Returning home for Thanksgiving . . . first major holiday at home in as long as I can remember. I'm trying to think of it in a positive way. I'm only going for three days, leaving Sunday back here to regroup. Wish me luck!

**********************

Flight tomorrow at 6:45 a.m. Eek! Among the books making the journey with me is a book about the technical aspects of my camera, one that I've been meaning to study for a while. It is possible that what pushed the book onto my "to take" pile is my desire not to look like a fool with this guy I find interesting who is a talented photographer. Hm.

On a brighter note . . .

I had a weekend jam-packed with things I love to do, including but not limited to several hours of service to my favorite civil rights organization.

After that, a glorious day and a lovely drive from Dallas to Central Texas, where I was able to catch up with a friend, try a new food (an Indian dessert) and even learn a new skill: XBox 360 (though I am decidedly unskilled at it, I have learned).

Now knocking out some work before conducting training sessions all day tomorrow. But I'll have a 3-hour drive home in which to try to think of something interesting to write so as not to make another post like this one. :)

Of birthdays, and departures, and vows.

One day earlier this week, I was leaving work for the evening when I noticed several police cars and a good bit of police tape at the far end of our parking garage. The scene was too far away for me to see what was going on and the security guard I passed on my way out would not tell me what had occurred. It later became clear that our property owner's "sound bite" on the incident was that it was a "medical emergency," as one rep after another used that phrase and looked uncomfortable when asked what happened in the parking garage the other night. My mind is nothing if not inquisitive, and I embarked upon a mission to find out more about this incident.

Yesterday, I found an offense report at the police department's web site indicating that a 62-year old man had committed suicide by shooting himself in our parking garage just after 5 pm that day. I cannot stop thinking about this man. My thoughts and feelings have included sadness that he felt the need to end his life prematurely, wondering what caused him to do that and worrying about his family.

Today, I found his obituary. Reading it gave me a great sense of relief that he appears to have had a loving and wonderful family and a life that included many happinesses. It also makes me wonder even more what could have led him to the hopelessness that would permit him to commit suicide. I have considered leaving a note of support for his family at their online guestbook, but I have not yet figured out what I should say.

Today would have been my father's 65th birthday had he not died 9 years ago. When I learned of my father's death in that long distance telephone call from my brother, one of my first questions was whether Dad had taken his own life. Although my brother said no, I do not believe I truly accepted that until I actually read the autopsy report blaming a heart attack for my father's death. Dad struggled for years with the depression with which I so often grapple as well, though it was only after his death that I learned from family friends that he had, for a brief period of time while I was in high school, been hospitalized due to his illness. I was upset that no one had ever told me this; I think knowing it would have led me to treat my father more gently and with greater patience. I realize I should have done that anyway, but nonetheless, I wish I had known.

This is the hardest time of year not just for me, but for many, many people. I have thought a good bit this week about what nice thing I can do for Phil's birthday. Here it is: Instead of acting abruptly when encountering less-than-cheerful folks, thoughtless drivers or less than stellar customer service, I will make sure I offer a cheery or supportive word and try to leave their day a little brighter after our encounter, because who knows what struggles they may be having? This is a small thing to do, but I know from being on the receiving end of such kindnesses that they mean a lot when someone is feeling sad or hopeless.

Peanut Tales.

Everything you ever needed to know about the kind of people one finds in law school is right here, in this thread on AbovetheLaw.com.

The back story is that apparently, a student at Villanova's law school has a peanut allergy. She decided to be a visiting student at Fordham this year, and the Villanova dean sent a sympathetic email to the Fordham dean, not realizing that he was actually emailing an entire listserv of deans, deans who are not really all that into discretion, and one of whom leaked the email to a blog read by many.

In the comments thread that follows, you will see there are people sympathetic to the peanut allergy, those who are disdainful of it, some cynics who think the girls is faking it because peanuts only appear to bother her when she actually knows they are present, and others who simply do not want to give up their peanut butter sandwiches. A few Villanova students deny that any "peanut party" occurred after the girl's departure, though someone says they simply were not invited to said peanut party.

It's a rough world, law school land.

Weekend and the Week Ahead

I meant to work this weekend and instead did fun things . . . saw a movie that made me think about whether a person is better off with their own parents or better parents, went on a house tour that included a church being made into a modern home and ate some excellent hummus. One of the best parts of my weekend was reading the Sunday New York Times nearly cover to cover. If there was only one thing I could keep about my weekends (assuming I could always spend time with my dogs), it would be reading the New York Times. Thank goodness that all of the good papers have not gone away in this age of corporate imperialism in the media world.

Phil had a 40th! birthday on Saturday and made an intriguing request for birthday presents. He asks that we each go out of our way to do more good or less harm than we otherwise would have, and report back to him. It's a great idea, birthday or no. It also makes me feel better to know that others would have to consciously think of this, as sometimes I feel as if I'm the last one figuring it all out.

Go forth and have a great week!

Change of plans.

I realized that I have been censoring myself on this blog. Perhaps a more accurate term would be "not writing."

I've been holding back from writing things that are not upbeat enough or that you may not find interesting or that may not be perfect enough to pass my own ridiculously high bar. I have felt worried that people are tired of me using this as a virtual diary. But I did not begin writing this for an audience, and I need to write about the things that are going to help me grow as a person, because, well, that's what I need to do. I need to write every day because it makes me a better writer. I need to stop censoring myself. So, I hope you all will hang around, because I have grown to really like you, but if you don't, I understand.

Some random things:

• I feel lucky to have a housekeeper who surprises me by unearthing a few of my little-used Halloween decorations and displaying them in my house, then putting them away after Halloween.
• Walking through a Sears store this week, I was catapulted back to my childhood, in which any family trip to the mall began and ended with the Sears store . . . I found myself remembering how hard my parents worked, at jobs they were not that crazy about, in order to give my brother and I a better life. I'm going to remember that the next time I am having a bad day at work and am tempted to hate my job.
  
• I may be growing up, in that I would previously have agonized when a person with whom I work once again reveals himself to be an asshole, but this time, it bothered me for thirty seconds and then I moved on, glad I don't have to live with the karma that will be his.
• Certain things that are really good have fallen away from my life over the last few years . . . such as reading books for pleasure, working out and boys. I want to change that.